A never ending supply of bad ideas.

There is an unusually high amount of chaos in the world right now. Not the fun sort of chaos either where sofas show up in the middle of cricket matches and lakes start thinking that they're gin and tonics. No, this is more the death and destruction sort of chaos, which I could really do without myself. So, you know, anyone contributing to that, cut it out, would you please? It's really very annoying.

Are all my charges okay? Not panicking? Know where your towels are?

It kicks. The baby kicks.

This is the most impossible, amazing thing ever.

She actually has an actual tiny person inside of her. I can't believe it.

Not a good day for New Zealand. I haven't lived here long, but I'm already developing an almost freakish love for my new home. (Yes, like so many good Irishmen, I betrayed by leaving. Unlike most, I actually went somewhere with more sheep. Also, the home of my lovely lady, more to the point. She's brought so many new things into my life, and the beauty of this place is by no means least among them.)

A few hours ago an earthquake hit Christchurch. Bad enough that people even claim to have felt it here in Wellington. They say it's less powerful than the one that hit in September, but far more damaging. All the reports that are coming in are very worrying. Send your thoughts, and prayers if that's your thing, to the people there.

The nearest Agency branch is here in Wellington. We're all in office if reincarnates in the area are in need of help.

Just watched The Social Network. I'm inspired. I'm not sure if I'm inspired to make something or steal something, but definitely inspired.

( Filtered to Agency Employees )

Here's a fun project for you kids: Go to Google. Click Maps. Click Get Directions. Enter A: "Japan" B: "China". Note instruction 43.

Google really is giving The Guide a run for its money. They're nearly as entertainingly unhelpful. No, not unhelpful. Google is always right. It's reality that is frequently inaccurate or inconvenient.

( Jason White )

If I've learned anything from the past few days, it's that reincarnates freak out easy. No, I take it back, we all already knew that. I'd say I learned that weird things will never stop happening to us, but again, this is old news. I did learn that crossing the galaxy is much faster with a ship, but way less interesting. If I ever decide to try that in this reality I'm going to make sure get a load of people to go along. There, we have a lesson for the week: don't run off into space alone, you're bound to get bored. Always take a buddy! It's just like swimming. I think. There was something about that my mother used to say. I never really listened.

Does anyone know if the Agency is having the annual formal ball this year? I know we didn't last year, but I assume that was because of the whole taken over by psychopaths problem. Sure we're still run by crazy people, but now it's voluntary, so I doubt that's an issue. Point being, anyone heard anything? I have a tux that needs wearing, and it's been awhile since I freaked out any mundane ambassadors on our home turf.

A regatta is a boat race or series of boat races, usually organized events for amateur competition and general showing off. I'm told they're quite a lot of fun.

I don't have a boat.

We do have an awful lot of space ships though.

I DECLARE MORNINGTON CRESCENT. International indoor rules variation, of course. As is traditional, I will open with Waterloo.

Game on.

((OOC: For those with no idea what's going on.))

Now that is what I call fun. Hope everyone else had a good time. It's a good thing the Heart of Gold was still in the garage, I'm not sure how we would have all hitched a lift on a rogue sofa. The ship is far more reliable. Well, slightly more reliable. Sorry about the penguin thing, that happens sometimes.

Of course, now I have to figure out where to park it. The SEP field is holding out, but eventually someone is going to wonder why a gleaming white spaceship is parked on Hanover Quay, even if it does have a Citroën logo pasted on.

( Agency )

Happy Towel Day, everyone! And don't forget about The Wearing Of The Lilac. Naturally, I will be wearing my formal lilac towel in honor of this most important of dates. (I may keep a small, informal throwing towel in my bag as well though, just in case of Ravenous Bugblatter Beast encounters).

What I did with my day. In my defense, I wasn't just skiving off. One of my old cases was in the platypus. It seemed only right to go cheer on the reincarnate team, on behalf of the Agency.

I don't want to alarm anyone, but I think there's a very good chance that our society is approaching the shoe event horizon.

What are our thoughts on spontaneous human combustion?

According to The Guide, it was once believed to be caused either by visitation by god(s) or excessive consumption of alcohol. (It goes on to mention that the effects of those two phenomenon are often confused, which many of us can no doubt attest to.)

Other theories include static electricity as a contributing factor, potentially explosive diets, subatomic methane int he gastrointestinal tract, microwave radiation, mystic body heating through kundalini, and a rare but unfortunate side effect of basic respiration (don't breath in).

The one theory that has not be proposed in any source I can find with my considerable researching skills, is sudden and unexpected reincarnation of a pyrokinetic. I'm going to pose that as a very credible theory explaining why instead of visiting a potential case this afternoon I instead visited one slippered foot, a pile of ashes, and a burnt chair.

This is of course terribly tragic. I also want to point out that it is in no way my fault.

The next fecker who tries to sing Danny Boy in a bizarrely upbeat manner is getting strangled with a towel. You've been warned.

( Agency Staff )

My landlady today felt the need to point out that I do not fit in well in reality. This is quite possibly the nicest thing she's ever said to me.